Good-bye March...

I am not sorry to see March leave.  It arrived angry and is leaving me very sad. But life is settling down now; I look forward to April and getting outdoors.  The moments of sadness that take my breath away are little less.  I expect they will never go away. 

I wanted to remember the flowers and cards that surrounded me during this time.  Below is a bud vase of Lenten Roses that sat at the alter with the beautiful urn holding my mother's ashes. Mother loved Lenten Roses and every time I look at a Lenten Rose blossom, I will remember her.

John's wonderful mother was the first person to respond to my loss and sent me a beautiful arrangement of flowers.  As several of the flowers began to fade, I pulled them out and re-arranged the others.  Two weeks later, the arrangement is still causing me to smile.

The arrangement below was part of a grouping of three small spring arrangements that graced a table in the Chapel during my mother's memorial service.  The entire arrangement, called a break away arrangement, was joined by long branches of pussy willow that formed an arch over a picture of my mother.  The three arrangements represented the three daughters.  Each of us took an arrangement home after the service.

The Peace Lily below is a gift from my work.  I found it on the front porch one day when I was returning home.  Nice, don't you think??!!

And finally, this is just a few of the many cards I have received.  So many thoughtful and heartfelt words in each... 

I miss my mother more than I can begin to express... 

On a less significant note, my 1996 I30 Infiniti reached a milestone today. It finally turned over 500,000 miles.  Infiniti launched the I30 in Fall 1995 as its entry luxury car. I brought one of the first in Knoxville and drove it proudly, to and from Cleveland, TN (150 miles/day) for 10 years, then  to and from Mt. Airy, NC, once a month for 2 years and finally, to my current job, round trip 14 miles a day.

The car has been a solid, dependable vehicle, leaving me almost stranded only once in 15 years (Vacation Save by Russells Garage ).  I have kept the mechanical parts meticulously maintained and until the last few years, the body too. Maintaining both has been crazy expensive.  Recently I decided against doing body work and the car is beginning to look like a dirt car racer, bumped, scrapped and dented (a whole new perspective on my driving).   Nevertheless, I kept driving the car in search of my 500,000 mile goal.  Now that I have made it, the car is beginning to look like what it is, a very old car in need of replacement.   

In celebration and gratitude for the life of a gracious, humble, lady...

Yesterday, in a gathering in the Chapel at Church Street United Methodist Church, we said good-bye to my Mother.  The Chapel was almost full, friends of mine, friends of my sisters, thoughtful work associates and most importantly, family and friends who had known my parents for so many years.

Before the service, we received friends,  people who wanted to tell us they cared and others who wanted to relay stories about how my mother had touched their lives.  So much emotion...   My mother's sister and brother were there, was well as nieces and nephews, and grandnephews.  The Chapel was filled with laughter and tears and it was a time I will always cherish.  The presence of each person who attended so touched my heart.

Reverends Andy Ferguson, Sarah Varnell and Cabel Trent officiated, each relaying their own experiences with my mother.  We sang hymns, read scripture and sang the Doxology.  The service was over too quickly and our friends drifted out of the church and back to their own lives.

Family came back to the house and gave us a few additional hours of laughter and stories before they too had to return to their lives in Roanoke, Staunton and Tazewell, VA and Richmond, KY.   I miss the family and I miss my mother so very much...

 My cousin Derek (Auntie Sue's son) and his son Nathan

 My Uncle Joe (Mother's brother), Cousin Eric and Cousin Vicky (both children of my late Aunt Itsa)

 Derek's beautiful wife, Staci and sons Levi and Roman

Vicky's husband, Steve watches as Uncle Joe and Vicky get the food ready to serve.  John says I was flitting around and couldn't seem to light long enough to pull things together.

Some of the incredible food: from Vicky, vegetable pizza, curried cheese ball with mango chutney and ginger snaps and chocolate chip wedding cookies.  From my sister Leslie's in-laws, baked ham, homemade loaves of yeast bread, potato salad, baked beans and The Cup cupcakes.

 Me and my Dad, the "bestest" dad in the entire world!!

In front: Cousin Eric, Staci, my sister Carol, in back: Cousin Derek and Auntie Sue's husband, my other Uncle Joe, and Daddy sitting (behind Carol)

 Cousin Vicky and Cousin Sheila (Mother's sister, my Aunt Martha's daughter)

 Cousin Vicky and Auntie Sue

 Carol, Uncle Joe, Eric, my other Uncle Joe and Daddy

And finally, Staci, Steve, my brother in law-Mike, Derek and my sister Leslie

Hymn Of Promise  (#707)

In the bulb there is a flower; in the seed an apple tree;

in cocoons, a hidden promise: butterflies will soon be free!

In the cold and snow of winter there's a spring that waits to be,

unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

There's a song in every silence, seeking word and melody;

there's a dawn in every darkness, bringing hope to you and me.

From the past will come the future;

what it holds, a mystery, unrevealed until its season,

something God alone can see.

In our end is our beginning; in our time, infinity;

in our doubt there is believing; in our life eternity.

In our death, a resurrection; at the last a victory,

unrevealed until its season, something God along can see.

(Hymn from the service)

Helen Frances Whitesell Smith...

My sweet mother passed away last night.  My heart aches....

Helen Frances Whitesell Smith

May 15, 1924-March 15, 2011

A new normal...

When one is dealing with a sick loved one, time becomes warped. Regular life is suspended in air and a new "normal" develops, that of sitting by the bedside, waiting, watching and comforting. Our life has changed over the last few weeks.  The things we thought we had to do have been forgotten as we slip into a new normal.  

All things considered, my mother is hanging tough.  She has developed a craving for vanilla ice cream and Coca Cola and we give it to her at her will.  She is alert at times and quite un-alert at others.  Her niece Sheila (Richmond, KY), and sister (Auntie Sue, Roanoke, VA) and brother (Uncle Joe, Staunton, VA) have been in town. Mother appears to have enjoyed their visits, I know the family did. Other relatives are making their plans to visit and we look forward to seeing their smiles and listening to their stories.

Meanwhile, our lives go on in our new normal state. We don't know what the next days and weeks will bring but we know the family has reached out to each other for love and support.     

Hospice...

Sunday evening brought forth some very difficult conversation. Mother began hospice today.  Tomorrow she will move back to Shannondale to continue hospice in her own bed.  Relatives are beginning to make plans to spend a little time with her.  Oh, life is moving way too fast. Can we slow these days and hours down, even just a little...

The roller coaster ride called health...

This has been a long week in the roller coaster ride of my sweet mother's health. Tuesday night, toward the end my glorious ultimate pedicure at Salon Visage on Market Square, I picked up my phone to call my limo (John) for a ride home.  I noticed 3 messages from my sister had appeared in the last hour (my phone was on vibrate).  This could not be good news.

My mother had been in the ER on Saturday (while we were backpacking) but had been sent home for an office follow-up on Tuesday.  She was taken to the orthopedic doctor on Tuesday and a plan of care  developed, but, not long after arriving home,  she became unresponsive.  Back to the ER, hence my sister's multiple messages.

Mother has been in the hospital since Tuesday night, doing better but not out of the woods. The entire family is riding an emotional up and down. Everyone is tired, especially Mother. We look forward to her getting better and going home again.

Meat and two, Thursday night out...

This week is restaurant week in Knoxville.  Participating restaurants are offering special 3 course meals for $25-35/per person and donating $5/per meal to Second Harvest Food Bank of East Tennessee.  Restaurant Week has been planned for a long time, but unplanned was Monday's monsoon that flooded the Second Harvest building.  The Food Bank lost just about everything and money is in short supply.  

Instead of spending $50-70 for a fancy dinner with $10 going to Second Harvest, we mailed a check for the entire cost of a 3 course meal for two and  joined friends Sonya and Mac Cissna at Sweet P's  for BBQ meat (loaf) and two. Sweet P's is an interesting BBQ joint/weekend music venue on Old Maryville Pike within spitting distance of  the Tennessee River.  The atmosphere is funky (campy some might say) posters, neon beer signs,  indoor/outdoor carpet, rickety chairs, sports on TV and the best barbeque (and sauce) in town.  In another word, heaven...

We slipped in the front door just behind a rowdy birthday party of 30 or so.  The line moved quickly as the proprietor dished up plates of  food from a buffet set-up behind the counter.  The menu is limited to a choice of 5-6 different meats and 5-6 sides, with a nightly special. BBQ meatloaf is only served on Thursday night and we considered nothing else!  

We were not disappointed.  Our two sides,  mac and cheese and cold slaw were excellent.  But the meatloaf was perfection, smoked on the grill and smothered with a tangy BBQ sauce.  We added a squirt of hot sauce and savored every bite.  Mac and Sonya ordered the same and also raved about the meatloaf (and mac and cheese).  We agreed another Thursday at Sweet P's is in order! 

Yum-yum!

Anthony Creek Trail, Campsite 9, and Backpack #73...

Backpack #73 is in the books and we had a great time!  The weekend kicked off around 7:00 PM  Friday night when John's nephew, Will, arrived.  We initially planned to take him to Barley's in the Old City for pizza and beer but, based on John's calculations, he would not arrive until after 8:00 PM. As it turned out, we were picking up  Barley's take out about the same time Will exited the interstate in Knoxville.  The three of us arrived at the house within minutes of each other, spot on to my estimate of 7:00 PM!

Friday night was a hang out and relax night.  I still had a bit of packing to do as I never seem to get it done ahead of time, Will and John talked and talked.  We went to bed a little later than usual and were up Saturday morning a little early than usual.  

The excitement level in the house increased significantly when Daniel and Lee arrived to have breakfast with their Huntsville cousin.   John prepared a breakfast of country biscuits, nationally famous but "just down the road"  Bentons bacon and country ham, coffee and juice.  The "boys" ate and talked while John and I finished our last minute preparations.   

 Country biscuits

 Benton's bacon and country ham (sorry about the awful picture)

 The guys, from left: Daniel, Lee, John and Will

Finally, about 30 minutes later than planned, we were ready to head to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Aside from an accident  just outside Townsend which delayed us some 15 minutes or so, the drive was uneventful.  As anyone who has backpacked in via Anthony Creek Trail knows, there is no overnight parking in the Cades Cove picnic area so I waited with the packs at the trail head while John and Will parked the cars near the Cades Cove  camp store and walked back.

We were amazed at the size difference in Will's pack (right) and our packs.  Will's pack is new, light weight technology.  Our packs are circa 2001 expedition size, purchased to carry 12 days worth of supplies for our Brooks Range, Alaska trip in August 2001.  I will purchase a new, lighter weight pack for our Glacier trip, John is considering a new pack.

The trail is a steady climb toward the Appalachian Trail and the guys quickly pulled ahead of me. I maintained a decent pace and fell only about 10 minutes behind. John knows I have a fear of water crossings so they stopped to be sure I made it safely across this bridge and tree carnage.  We saw several recently downed trees and attributed it to the heavy winds and rain that passed through the area in the last few weeks.

 John and Will on the trail

We arrived at Campsite #9 around 1:00 PM and immediately began the tasks of setting up camp. In prior conversation, Will had expressed interest in a future backpack across the Smoky's section of the AT so John was in a hurry to get him back on the trail.  His mission, to hike the additional 4.4 up and back to catch a glimpse of the AT and Spence Field Shelter.  Me, I was just interested in hiking toward the AT, taking in the views and snapping a few photos.   

Part of setting up camp included hanging our packs on the pulleys provided by the NPS.  No sense in tempting the bears by leaving them around camp.

This was our home for the night.  Although we have several lighter tents, John brought the heavy tent, which weighed a full 5.25 pounds more than Will's tent (below).  No wonder he had such a small pack.  John and I have been backpacking together for 11 years and have developed two specific tent criteria:  1) enough head room to sit up and change clothes comfortably and 2) enough body room so we each have a little space for our stuff.   We admired Will's tent but were not envious.

No sitting up here!

The views on Anthony Creek Trail to the AT are spectacular, especially without the summer foliage.  Below is a picture of Cades Cove (brown area in the valley) surrounded by mountains.  Behind the Cove is the ridge top we hiked last weekend.

Anthony Creek Trail connects to Bote Mountain Trail, which connects to the AT.  Sections of Bote Mountain Trail are a bit canyon like.  The trail walls in the picture below are taller than my 5'6" height.

Dress for dinner on Saturday night was backpacker semi-formal.  The temperature was cool and the atmosphere was a little damp so hats were required.  John wore the very latest in lightweight down jackets (Xmas gift!) providing maximum warmth with minimum weight.  His hat had a South American influence in both styling and color. 

Will wore the popular fleece fabrication in both his jacket and hat.  He sported fall's neutral color pallet of gray and black, with neutral pants.  These guys are such outdoor fashionistas!! ;-)

After dinner, Will struggled to start a fire.  Everything was damp from rain earlier in the week.  With some effort and a lot of huffing and puffing, the flames finally caught and we had a great fire for several hours.

Morning brought an overcast sky and the threat of rain.  Will was on Central Standard Time so we let him sleep while we enjoying coffee and sweet potato pancakes.  We kept thinking we should get him up before the rain, but we were in no rush and the morning was so relaxing.  Then we heard thunder.

Will woke up in just enough time to get most of his stuff in the pack and down a small cup of oatmeal before the sky opened up.  John had not quite finished packing (thanks to me, but that is another story) and he had to scramble to get his pack closed.  Not much fun in the rain.

The rain stopped long enough for us to hike out but as we reached the cars, it started again.  We drove into Townsend for an early lunch at the Front Porch (not particularly good) and Will headed back to Huntsville.